Word: handjobs
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Dates: during 1986-1986
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...uneasy mix of pride and shyness that has never changed in me very much when someone asks to look. The act of writing itself is done in secret, like masturbation...for me it always wants to be sex and always falls short--it's always that adolescent handjob in the bathroom with the door locked...Nowadays writing is my work and the pleasure has diminished a little, and more and more often that guilty masturbatory pleasure has become associated in my head with the coldly clinical images of artificial insemination: I come according to the rules and regs laid down...