Word: hanke
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...needs a stock portfolio when you've got baseball memorabilia? Mark McGwire's 70th home-run ball (not even the one that broke Ruth's record) set its own record at auction last week. But don't bet the farm on your signed Hank Aaron mitt yet. It's a steep drop to the next nine highest prices paid for sports memorabilia at public auction...
...irreplaceable star in the National Basketball Association, has left the game. But no one is irreplaceable. News of Jordan's retirement broke the same day that baseballs hit by Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were auctioned off for far more than balls hit by all-time home run king Hank Aaron and former single season home-run leaders Roger Maris and Babe Ruth. This is a vast and rich nation full of talented people in all fields who keep turning up as the years go by. After the tears in Chicago have dried, we will remember that...
Also on the auction block is the ball that Hank Aaron (remember him?) pounded out of Fulton County Stadium more than 20 years ago to set the all-time home run record. Got your checkbook ready? Put it back in your pocket, big shot: Unless you've already mailed in your financial statements proving you have at least $100,000 to drop on a slightly used Spalding, Guernsey's doesn't want to hear from you. Still, you can watch the action online, which at these prices is probably the safest thing...
Despite the rural atmosphere, the bracing cold and the presence of people who seem at first glance to be honest rustics, we are not exactly in Robert Frost country here. Hank (Bill Paxton) is smart enough to guess that money in this amount is going to be pursued by its rightful (or, more likely, wrongful) owners, but he's a weak, inexplicably damaged fellow. His brother Jacob (cunningly played by Billy Bob Thornton) is a halfwit, and Jacob's pal Lou (Brent Briscoe) has a heedless temper. Back home, Hank's wife Sarah (Bridget Fonda) quickly turns into this caper...
...band Motorhead when it performed Eat the Rich and where Garth Brooks became a megastar for crooning about having friends in "low places," even if by doing so he has made himself into a country-music mogul with a bodacious estate of his own. Still, every country singer since Hank Williams has made his fans want to burn the mansions on the hill to the ground. It's simply not American to root for a guy who has elevators in his house. This is why the American people still won't turn on Bill Clinton--he's a lifelong renter...