Word: hansen
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...Samaritan is that in a recent backroom, unofficial test flight of a proposed new branch of the Sports of the Nation and the World, Bruno beat hands down and reduced to less of an inexorable mishmosh of spare parts and erector set oil than he recently did to Stan Hansen, that Octopoid Bell-boy, JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH had to be picked off the floor with Brillo and a sponge. And Bruno just used words!! (More about this next...
...Stan Hansen, a sea creature (called cul-de-sac-of-pus by his friends) so guileless and cunning that he shouldn't even be allowed to make neurological decongestant ads or even be on welfare, one-two-threed his way into a state of protoplasmic regret when Bruno finished dicing him through the Great Steel Cage. He actually ripped Hanson's face off--yanked the pulpy flesh right off his doggone skull. Ex-transvestite. Hansen, whose eyes had long since disappeared to leave only streams of orange blood, mistook a kindly referree for his phantom foe. But he didn...
...Hansen's doctors say that if he ever wants to play the violin again he'll either have to develop muscular chest hair or be prepared to bow with steel hooks...
...beat Bruno. No one ever has, and no one ever will--legally. The only thing is, Stan Hansen isn't worried about little legalities like sportsmanship...
...every turn Bruno outwrestled Hansen, and four times the cowardly challenger climbed out of the ring to avoid the wrath of the champion. The fifth time Bruno was not to be put off by such illegal shenanigans and leapt out of the ring after his staggering foe. Around and around the ring Bruno chased the terrified Hansen, until the craven defrauder had to crawl back into the ring to save his skin. Then, in what all true fans must agree to be one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in history, the referee, who had barely gotten to three...