Word: hapless
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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Bothered by another windy, cold day, the Harvard golf team gained a split in their second outing of the season yesterday. The Crimson, which now has a 1-2 record, beat hapless Columbia, but lost to Penn on the Quakers' home course in Norristown...
...meantime, the hapless consumer waits . . . and waits. Because only 10% of Soviet food shops are self-service stores, the average Soviet citizen spends no fewer than 400 hours per year simply waiting in line to make purchases. The total amount of time devoted by the nation to purchasing goods and food is estimated to be close to 30 billion hours a year. A Russian joke has someone asking a young boy where his father is. "He's a cosmonaut circling the moon," replies the lad. "And your mother?" "She's waiting in line at the butcher shop...
...meets Henrietta, spilling tea at a party. As Elaine May plays her, Henrietta is a hilarious anthology of gaffes; when she smiles, lipstick enamels her teeth. When she rises from a table, her lap is upholstered with crumbs. Price tags cling to her new clothes; her fingers dangle from hapless hands, like stockings hung to dry. But she has one profound saving grace: wealth beyond avarice. "Let me take all this away from you," schemes her new suitor, and sweeps her off her purse...
...Hapless Gamblers. Not filled bottles, but empties. The fancy packaging (animal, bird and political figurines), initiated in the mid-'50s by the James B. Beam Distilling Co. as a spur to liquor sales, boosted sales all right, but not just by drinkers. The bottles turned out to be every bit as intoxicating, so much so that a company called Grenadier is now in business primarily to serve "the Connoisseur Collector with the finest examples of porcelain soldier figurines [bottles] available anywhere in the U.S." Moreover, unlike their contents, the bottles have a long-term value: Jim Beam...
...Harvard hockey team plays hapless Yale tonight at Ingalls Rink in New Haven, with a victory virtually assuring the Crimson of a second-place Ivy finish...