Word: hapless
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...With his hapless team 27 games out of first place and losing as usual, Bresnahan had fired an errant pick-off throw over the third baseman's head. As the runner came home, Dave triumphantly tagged him out: he had held onto the ball while tossing an Idaho potato carved to look like a baseball. Unamused, the umpire ruled that the run had scored. Dave's angry manager got him kicked off the team. Last week Bresnahan, now a real estate salesman, was vindicated. "Gehrig had to hit .340 and play in more than 2,000 consecutive games...
...Soviet soldiers moved toward the border last week, the rebels began marshaling their forces. "The mujahedin are just gobbling up territory in the eastern provinces near Pakistan," said a Western diplomat in Islamabad. By week's end the rebels had overrun dozens of military posts abandoned by the hapless Afghan army and had besieged several important provincial towns. If the insurgents can take Jalalabad, a major town along the main supply route between Kabul and Pakistan, the capital itself may eventually fall...
...Senate is a clubby place that takes pains to protect the minority from the majority. Helms has taken full advantage of that magnanimity, giving some to wonder, What is to protect the majority from Helms? His arsenal is primitive but effective: adding on dilatory amendments, filibustering, running hapless nominees through his congressional paddling machine. Some call it "porcupine power." As the ranking Republican on the Foreign Relations Committee, he stands at a crucial thoroughfare. Again and again, he has turned the path of legislation and confirmation into his private turnpike -- pay Jesse's toll or wait forever. Last week...
...factions, his strategy is clear on one point: it is time to focus as much fire as possible on the departing President and the Republican who would succeed him. Like all other Democrats, the Duke has already been blasting at a variety of targets, from the misadventures of the hapless Ed Meese to the federal deficit to mismanagement in the Pentagon. That makes partisan sense; while the Democrats have been sniping at each other, Bush has enjoyed relative immunity from attack since he locked up the Republican nomination...
Andrew Osbourne makes a divine Bogey and gets lots of laughs with his high-collar trenchcoat. Don't worry about women, he advises his hapless apprentice, "It's nothing a little bourbon and soda wouldn't help." Felix answers, "If I had a thimble full of bourbon, I'd go out and get tattooed...