Word: harpo
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...expert Herbert Feis it was once said "he looks like Harpo and talks like Karl Marx." The Harpo crack is an exaggeration, the Karl part a misunderstanding. Feis, a Hoover holdover, loves fast conversation and the intellectual paradox, but, stripped of provocative verbiage, his opinions would be generally acceptable. Never a New Dealer, he belongs to none of Washington's "ideological" factions...
Thereafter Decker had plenty of sitters, collected plenty of fat fees. He also instituted a point system, rationing only one portrait to each subject. But the sitter was permitted to choose the famous painting he wished to be dubbed into. Harpo Marx was painted as Gainsborough's Blue Boy, Charlie McCarthy as Hals's Laughing Cavalier, W. C. Fields as Queen Victoria. Prices for these efforts sometimes ran up to $1,000. Says Decker (who suffers from ulcers and diabetes): "An artist doesn't earn a living until after he's dead. People buy his stuff...
This huge vaudeville is a richer and stranger mixture than the late B. F. Keith ever devised. High sentiments are compounded with Harpo Marx's ogling of the girls. No sooner has Ray Bolger done some hilarious hoofing than hard-working Gracie Fields sings Albert Hay Malotte's soulful version of The Lord's Prayer. No sooner has Edgar Bergen traded wisecracks with his lively pieces of lumber, Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd, than Katharine Cornell engages in a bit of Romeo and Juliet with a soldier who remembers his Shakespeare. Ethel Waters has scarcely finished syncopating...
...their window for a comfort station. A seasonally unemployed professional footballer sleeps in their kitchenette to avoid his mother-in-law. Sister Ruth interests a magazine editor (Brian Aherne) in her copy and person. Sister Eileen innocently entices into their manic ménage their landlord (George Tobias), a Harpo-Marxian painter with delusions of genius; the Harold-Teenish manager of a drugstore; a crafty reporter (Allyn Joslyn); six lighthearted cadets from the Portuguese merchant marine. Eileen's global charms inspire the sailors to do a mass conga that lands her in jail. At last Sister Ruth...
...transferred to other duties. Lieut. Grantland Rice went to work the issue that the sport page was abolished. "Rank-&-Filers" Mark Watson and Stephen Early were Major Watson and Captain Early. Alexander Woollcott was a sergeant, and the official roster doesn't list a single Marx -let alone Harpo. So, it seems, the only authentic private of your picked group is Harold Ross...