Word: harvard
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Dates: during 2010-2019
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Over these Commencement days no doubt professors, family, and friends, all weak of heart, will congratulate you on a job well done. Not I. Just look at the job you have done at Harvard. You gobbled up $11 billion in stocks and hot breakfast. You lost us party grants. You did who-knows-what to the Wetu...
...Harvard had dreams before you came. It dreamt of colonizing Allston with merciless engineering concentrators. It dreamt of building a science center out of stem cells. If you had not shown up, Harvard could have been a colder version of Stanford by now. But you did, Fortuna got angry, and now our red-spiced chicken is a little less spiced...
...please take my advice, thank your family for giving you life’s greatest gift (which is either a Harvard education or unconditional love—your choice), and get out of here. Good riddance...
John F. Bowman ’11 is a sociology concentrator in Pforzheimer House and president of the Harvard College Undergraduate Council...
...Harvard Hillel Executive Director Bernard Steinberg was recently honored with the Covenant Award—a prize celebrating Jewish educators who have impacted Jewish life by taking an innovative approach to education...