Word: harvardicus
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...Harvardicus irritatus is usually defined as "an epidemic that transforms predominantly nice, bright college kids into snivelling, whining wretches who deserve to be airdropped into downtown Bucharest with `I loved Nikolai Ceausescu' tattoos carved into their foreheads." Every January, this dreaded disorder pervades the student body, causing widespread stress, anxiety and generally infantile behavior...
...PROFESSORS get older and more set in their tenured ways, this attitude begins to extend to their home life. Upon waking up in the morning, Professor John Harvardicus hears his daughter asking him where her new stockings...
...work, Harvardicus is stopped by a woman asking directions to Allsred. "How should I know," he says. "What do I look like, a head section leader?" and continues along his gruff yet jocular course...
Professor Harvardicus returns home after spending the rest of the day at the Faculty Club. When he arrives home, he opens the door and sets off the burglar alarm. He tries slamming the door and turning the porch lights on and off quickly, but to no avail. Finally, he screams, "Honey, how the hell do you work the burglar alarm," and his wife, roused by the noise, comes over and fixes...
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