Word: heavenly
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...deep and abiding spiritual pain. In more than 40 communications, many of which have never before been published, she bemoans the "dryness," "darkness," "loneliness" and "torture" she is undergoing. She compares the experience to hell and at one point says it has driven her to doubt the existence of heaven and even of God. She is acutely aware of the discrepancy between her inner state and her public demeanor. "The smile," she writes, is "a mask" or "a cloak that covers everything." Similarly, she wonders whether she is engaged in verbal deception. "I spoke as if my very heart...
...many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them - because of the blasphemy - If there be God - please forgive me - When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven - there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. - I am told God loves me - and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart? - addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated...
...problem down, and she complied. "The more I want him - the less I am wanted," she wrote Périer in 1955. A year later she sounded desolate: "Such deep longing for God - and ... repulsed - empty - no faith - no love - no zeal. - [The saving of] Souls holds no attraction - Heaven means nothing - pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything...
...make it the organizing center of her personality, the beacon for her ongoing spiritual life." Certainly, she understood it as essential enough to project it into her afterlife. "If I ever become a Saint - I will surely be one of 'darkness.' I will continually be absent from Heaven - to [light] the light of those in darkness on earth," she wrote in 1962. Theologically, this is a bit odd since most orthodox Christianity defines heaven as God's eternal presence and doesn't really provide for regular no-shows at the heavenly feast. But it is, Kolodiejchuk suggests, her most moving...
...bother talking to someone about fashion's future, I'm not going to waste my time with Tom Ford's hazy guesses. I'm going to an actual spiritual medium: James Van Praagh. Having hosted the syndicated show Beyond with James Van Praagh and having written both Talking to Heaven and Reaching to Heaven, Van Praagh has 22 years of paranormal experiences. Can Tom Ford talk to dead people? If not, then I'm not letting him pick out my spring '08 wardrobe...