Word: hebrews
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...spirit of this week’s issue, we’ve turned the spotlight on our bedeviling but beloved brick building on Plympton St., headquarters of the vast Hebrew conspiracy to take over the media. Merry Christmas...
After the tournament finished, besotted Beiruters attempted to extend the fun by organizing a Holy War of Flipcup: Jews vs. Christians. The Hebrew contingent lost the match by mere seconds, but was buoyed by a raucous rendition of Hava Nagila. On the other side of the table, the victors celebrated with cries of “Jee-zus! Jee-zus!,” igniting a furor not seen since Wal-Mart’s midnight release party for “The Passion of the Christ?...
Contrary to appearance, though, it’s not the acquisition of stuff that I’m after. In Israel, for instance, it was the participation in commerce that I was interested in: getting my bag searched on the way in to the store, tripping over Hebrew slang while fending off vulture-like salespeople, being ruefully grateful that I wound up on the privileged side of the racial profiling coin. Whatever item I walked out with would serve as a symbolic reminder of having been in a different place, and of the ways in which my daily American life...
...began dating two months later, after their first kiss at a Scholars reunion. Engagement came two months after. Each wore silver rings with a quotation from the Song of Solomon in Hebrew: “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine...
...welcoming ceremony is undercut each year by the cantor’s hijacking of the traditional tunes we know by heart. In their place, he substitutes unfamiliar and operatic renditions, ostensibly of the specific High Holiday melodies. Now, we’re the first to admit that our Hebrew is far from fluent: much of the Gates of Repentance prayerbook remains a mystery to us. We glance around quizzically at our more devout brethren during services—what is the thing when they bend their knees and bob their heads? But we can recall a select few prayers from...