Word: helene
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COSMOPOLITAN itself poses some competition for the Lampoon, and they fail to meet it. Between the Hearst Corporation's reputation for intellectual journalism and Helen Gurley Brown's personal style in running her magazine, most of the potential areas in which a parody can play get squeezed out. The distance between an article like "The Bugaboo of Male Impotence" (in the October genuine Cosmopolitan) and "The Myth of the Male Orgasm" is not that great. The Lampoon carries a picture with its story showing a guy holding crossed fingers behind his back and tentatively approaching a girl waiting...
...HELEN PAGE...
...sterile and generally find their sex lives unimpaired and occasionally improved by the procedure. But impotence has occurred in those who were, knowingly or not, uncertain of their masculinity before vasectomy, while patients who submit to the surgery believing that it will strengthen a shaky marriage are invariably disappointed. Helen Wolfers, a researcher at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, studied 95 men who had undergone vasectomies and found that ten had sexual problems following the operation. Interviews revealed that most had reluctantly agreed to vasectomy in an attempt to solve marital problems...
...room the doctor keeps a pack of twenty horny young cub scouts. The Doctor explains that they are to be used in his latest experiment. They will gang rape Helen. Allen, always helpful, advises her "keep your legs crossed...
...Doctor tries to carry out his fiendish experiment, a fight breaks out and the laboratory catches on fire. Allen and Helen manage to escape, but so does the result of one of the doctor's experiments--a giant breast that flops through the countryside like a Japanese science fiction monster. But Allen tells Helen not to worry, because "he knows how to handle tits" and they rush off to the Sheriff's office. Eventually a plan is devised where Allen lures the stalking breast into a trap-a gigantic bra. But even after the breast is captured, the Sheriff remains...