Word: helling
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...Day” with a sit-in, of sorts. Says former Salient Editor-in-Chief and infamed moral crusader, Warren G. Poopin ’04, “If the Sodomites are escaping from the closets from whence they came, ushered on the wings of the bats of hell, to the closets we shall go and seek refuge from this iniquitous onslaught!” With that, Poopin and nine other Salient board members marched righteously into their respective closets. No word on when, if ever, Poopin and the Salient crew will come...
...toilet. To the chagrin of Hotchkiss’ roommate, Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04, Daharpuni had polished off his pre-puke feast with a half tin of salted peanuts, aggravating Mussolini’s severe peanut allergies. “I have to get the hell out of here,” said Mussolini as he made his way gasping toward the door. “No,” mumbled Darharpuni, “head to the toilet, I didn’t puke anywhere near...
CHICAGO—They’re saying hell will freeze over if it happens, but Chicago is hoping it will. A Red Sox-Cubs World Series would mean death to the two most legendary curses in sports history. The Windy City doesn’t seem content with just one underdog; now that the Sox are battling it out with the Yankees in the American League Championship Series, Cubs fans have two teams to root...
...provide a personal connection with the baseball on the field. We can only hope—Sox fans and Cubs fans—that the next two weeks deliver homers over the Green Monster at Fenway and the bushes at Wrigley. And we’re all for hell freezing over. After all, Chicago and Boston already have frigid winters...
...talking all day long about gay marriage is a tragedy. We have made so much advancement in this party, in this state, in this country, and they bring up the one issue that's contentious. I say, 'Jesus Christ, aren't you satisfied with progress? With acceptance? Beats hell out of me why you want to drag that dead cat around' ... Because see what happens? My whole party is now trying to do a constitutional amendment. My God! I can't believe it. I thought all you right-wing cuckoo pals of mine were all about states' rights...