Word: hellos
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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Felix (George Segal) opens the door, and it seems as if hell's fire has swept through the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel. It is the buxom neighbor he has reported to the building superintendent for prostitution. "Hello, pansy!" shrieks Doris (Barbra Streisand). "Hello, fink! Fink pansy! You rat! You fruitcake! Rat fink fruitcake! Creeps as yourself don't have dogs named Wolf. What creeps like you have are little faggy hairy bitty things with names like Pooky and Doodoo...
...Rudimentary, once you get the hang of it," he replied. Examining the dregs of his tea, he continued, "I see myself in the next century played by a number of actors on jiggling celluloid. Raymond Massey, Basil Rathbone-hello! what's this?-Here I am in 1970, in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes...
...York, in the middle of this eddying pool of dollar bills, long lines, and Clive Barnes reviews floats Hello Dolly. longest running musical on Broadway. Hello Dolly is about money. It makes money for stars and producers: it concerns a widow remarrying money. The current Dolly (does it really matter?) is Ethel Merman. She looks like an inflated scarecrow and struts about on stage in absolute refusal to act. As she blows kisses to the middle-aged ladies, recites her lines in a clarion voice, and charms a grey, indeterminate audience, it becomes apparent that no one but the chorus...
...which the genteel officers and ladies of England, on their way to fight the battle of Waterloo, pause to take in an Opera. We do not know or care what Opera it is. The audience cares only about the audience. The production is an excuse for an Opera, and Hello Dolly is an excuse for a musical. The experience is faintly amusing and excruciatingly boring. But we keep the appraisal secret for the producers say the real problem is money...
...Hello there, everybody. When's the next train out of here...