Word: hernia
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...kept popping up as well. I immediately signed up for every house yoga program in a ten-block radius. I didn’t find her; yet somewhere between mastering the Perching Crane and Precocious Monkey, I realized that all I had earned for myself was a hernia and a totally new outlook on shit. I decided to drown my sorrows in that sweet elixir of forgetfulness: foam. As I entered Mather Lather, shower cap and lufa in hand, I caught a glimpse of her, a fleeting image that soon receded into the misty oblivion. I pursued her in vain...
...Recently, we called an ambulance from the nearest township when my mother-in-law came down with a bad case of strangulated hernia. I walked half a mile through a heavy rain to the main road to meet the medics, lest they lose their way in our forest - which happened the last time we called for urgent medical help. They do carry cell phones, but can't afford the cost of using them. An hour after I got to the main road first, we finally connected. The medical orderly was friendly and unflustered. Having examined the patient, she advised hospitalization...
...mean, I asked, you're still on the road? Well, it was being on the road did it, she explained - in fact, she had learned that a 10-minute ride on the local roads in an old ambulance, its suspension long gone, is a standard treatment for strangulated hernias in these parts. "For all the years I've been working here," the orderly told my wife, "no patient's strangulated hernia has failed to repair itself on the road to the hospital." Still, they had to finish the journey lest the ambulance's trip be considered in vain. My wife...
...expectation is that patients will cope better after the operation with the less-invasive new techniques - no external scarring, less pain (most of Horgan's patients take nothing stronger than Tylenol after surgery), shorter recoveries and no risk of hernia. Surgeons have created a national organization called the Natural Orifice Consortium for Assessment and Research, or NOSCAR, to track the procedure's success and safety, and to collect data on patients' progress. NOSCAR also monitors the risk of infection with natural-orifice surgery, which doctors anticipate will be significantly lower than with traditional laparoscopic procedures - since the longer it takes...
...many religions use lists, from the Eightfold Path to the 95 Theses to the show-offy 613 laws of the Torah. An essay on morality would have been more nuanced than 10 commandments but harder to remember. And the tablets would have given Moses a hernia...