Word: hite
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...change in attitude toward matrimony is especially striking. A 1985 study of trends undertaken for Cosmopolitan magazine by the Battelle Memorial Institute's research center in Seattle concluded, as Hite does, that marriage has become less central in women's lives. The authors point to Census Bureau statistics indicating that the percentage of women ages 25 to 34 who have never married has more than doubled since 1970. This is because women are not only postponing marriage, say the authors of the Cosmo study, but increasingly avoiding it. The old economic division of labor, in which men work outside...
...Hite is not alone in observing the demise of the notion that love " 'tis woman's whole existence," as Byron once put it. "The old female tendency to put all her eggs in the love basket has been muted," says Columnist Ellen Goodman. One by-product of this adjustment, thinks Goodman, is greater reliance by women on other women for friendship -- an observation that accords with Hite's. Psychologist Carin Rubenstein, co-author of the Redbook study, also finds this trend striking. "I've heard women say, 'Maybe I should date my husband and live with my best friend...
Further evidence that Hite is on to something can be found in the nation's bookstores. A brief sampler of some of the titles that have lined the shelves in the past five years: Men Who Can't Love (Evans; 1987); How to Love a Difficult Man (St. Martin's Press; 1987); Women Men Love, Women Men Leave (Clarkson Potter; 1987); Successful Women, Angry Men (Random House; 1987); Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (Bantam; 1986); and the bluntest title of the lot, No Good Men (Simon & Schuster; 1983). Most are how- to books that advise...
Women's disappointment in the inability of men to communicate is perhaps the most universal of Hite's themes. "This is the No. 1 complaint of women," says Atlanta-based Writer Maxine Rock, whose 1986 book, The Marriage Map, chronicled the stages of matrimony. Psychiatrist Brian Doyle at Georgetown University notes that his male patients "often complain that they are not good at expressing their feelings...
...Hite's observation that extramarital flings are largely a response to these deficiencies rings true in many female ears. "I know so many women who fool around outside their marriages," says Kathy Murr, 40, a twice-divorced Chicago dress designer. "Basically, it's the emotion and the attention they want...