Word: hites
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...Hite is not alone in observing the demise of the notion that love " 'tis woman's whole existence," as Byron once put it. "The old female tendency to put all her eggs in the love basket has been muted," says Columnist Ellen Goodman. One by-product of this adjustment, thinks Goodman, is greater reliance by women on other women for friendship -- an observation that accords with Hite's. Psychologist Carin Rubenstein, co-author of the Redbook study, also finds this trend striking. "I've heard women say, 'Maybe I should date my husband and live with my best friend...
Further evidence that Hite is on to something can be found in the nation's bookstores. A brief sampler of some of the titles that have lined the shelves in the past five years: Men Who Can't Love (Evans; 1987); How to Love a Difficult Man (St. Martin's Press; 1987); Women Men Love, Women Men Leave (Clarkson Potter; 1987); Successful Women, Angry Men (Random House; 1987); Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (Bantam; 1986); and the bluntest title of the lot, No Good Men (Simon & Schuster; 1983). Most are how- to books that advise...
Women's disappointment in the inability of men to communicate is perhaps the most universal of Hite's themes. "This is the No. 1 complaint of women," says Atlanta-based Writer Maxine Rock, whose 1986 book, The Marriage Map, chronicled the stages of matrimony. Psychiatrist Brian Doyle at Georgetown University notes that his male patients "often complain that they are not good at expressing their feelings...
...Hite's observation that extramarital flings are largely a response to these deficiencies rings true in many female ears. "I know so many women who fool around outside their marriages," says Kathy Murr, 40, a twice-divorced Chicago dress designer. "Basically, it's the emotion and the attention they want...
Still, many of Hite's most shocking statistics seem dubious -- and indeed are at odds with other major studies. A 1987 Harris poll of 3,000 people found that family life is a source of great satisfaction to both men and women, with 89% saying their relationship with their partner is satisfying. A Redbook magazine survey released last month of 26,000 women found that sexual satisfaction has increased: 43% of respondents said they were "very satisfied," compared with 33% in a similar 1974 Redbook poll. Marital satisfaction was also...