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...show that you have intimate knowledge of semen’s nature and scent. So she doesn’t suspect your familiarity comes only from masturbation, you should add, “I know it smells like this not because I make it by myself, but because I hook-up with girls all the time and semen gets involved.” Honeys on campus like a take-charge no-bullshit kind of pimp and comments like that show that you’ve been around the block for real...

Author: By Jacob Rubin, | Title: How To Get Play At Harvard College | 5/1/2003 | See Source »

...good reputation is easy to lose and hard to get back! If you want your peers to respect you, you need to show them that you really respect yourself. If you are interested in someone, hang out with him and get to know him but do not immediately hook up with him. This will show him that you are worth much more than a meaningless hook-up, since he’ll realize that you have way more to offer than just your body...

Author: By E.w. Green, | Title: Sex And The City of Cambridge | 5/1/2003 | See Source »

Blessedly, there's plenty of soul elsewhere on American Life. For most of the gorgeous Love Profusion, Madonna wraps her voice--that candy-coated piece of plastic we've come to know and love--around a simple acoustic-guitar hook and some achy lyrics: "There is no comprehension/There is real isolation/There is so much destruction/What I want is a celebration." She is similarly relaxed and woeful on Nothing Fails, Intervention and album standout X-Static Process, which opens with the delicacy of a Gordon Lightfoot song and peaks with the self-pitying bridge "I always wished that I could find/Someone...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: This (Sad) American Life | 4/28/2003 | See Source »

...standards of hardball lobbying, it's a startling claim: suicides will surge if a bill to restrain Medicaid spending on prescription drugs is passed. But that's what one lobbyist for Eli Lilly said to Minnesota state Rep. Fran Bradley's face recently. "My phone has rung off the hook with people telling me I'm going to cause a severalfold increase in suicides," said Bradley, a Republican who previously won awards from state mental-health advocates for his progressive legislation...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Minnesota's Hard Medicaid Cuts | 4/28/2003 | See Source »

...criminal charges remind Wall Street that it is not off the hook yet. Several big firms settled charges that they had slanted stock research to win investment-banking fees. But other probes continue. If convicted, Quattrone would face a 10-year-maximum prison sentence-and a life sentence as a symbol of a decade's greed...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Stars Fall on Wall Street | 4/26/2003 | See Source »

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