Word: hooton
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Earnest A. Hooton, loquacious Harvard anthropologist, pondered the cigaret shortage, decided: "The boys in the foxholes ... their lives endangered, are nervous and miserable and want girls. Since they can't have them, they smoke cigarets. The girls at home . . . their virtue not endangered, are nervous and miserable and want boys. Since they can't have them, they too smoke cigarets. So what happens? The briar pipe resumes its rightful place as the companion of the philosophic male whose gonadal preoccupations have vanished with the years...
Earnest Albert Hooton, Harvard's pessimistic, publicity-wise anthropologist, who has long reported that men are reverting to apes, plumped for a woman President of the U.S., claimed that women "could hardly have made a worse mess" of world affairs than that made by men. He declared that women's "capacity for moral self-deception is smaller than that of males . . . they see things black or white. . . ." He also hoped for a woman President, because "we should then have a first gentleman of the land, and some of us would rather be that than President...
Ernest A. Hooton, professor of Anthropology, took up where he left off last year, when he began several weeks leave to examine the craniums of 1500 Army Air Force flyers in an attempt to determine the average Air Force size. Professor Hooton's efforts last year centered in an attempt to find the perfect post-war trolley and subway seat, which he accomplished by measuring the derrieres of several thousand men and women in North Station and calculating the perfect posterior...
Professor Hooton has already been acclaimed by the Air Corps chiefs, who stated they had no idea of the average airman's head until informed Professor Hooton...
...tests will be discreetly conducted in a booth in the concourse and the answers to 23 pertinent questions tabulated on cards for use in a card sorting machine. Dr. Hooton's assistants will conduct the research, one tabulating and one giving the passengers the chair...