Word: huey
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After sustaining his longest losing streak in over 21 seasons of football forecasting, Hu Flung Huey ocC "resigned" Sunday afternoon as Chief Sage for the CRIMSON...
High executives said last night that Dr. Huey obviously needed to renew his contact with the mysterious Eat. He will return to his mountain monastery in the trackless wastes of Inner Mongolia for further inculcation with the occult secrets of prognostication...
...Huey joined the paper in the fall of 1929, after the former prognosticatory expert, Joe Forecast, had quit to get married. Huey's first season was an auspicious one, for he was correct on three out of four predictions. It was only in the past few years that the Sage began to loss his occult powers. Last season he missed on eight out of nine predictions...
...Flung Huey ocC resigned at 11:53 p.m. last night as official football forecaster for the CRIMSON. Dr. Huey had held that post since September...
With tours in his almond-shaped eyes, Dr. Huey told the dumbfounded editors of the CRIMSON that he no longer feels competent to predict the outcomes of Harvard football games. He sobbed that he has never done so poorly in his life. He has predicted the last six games incorrectly, and has been right only once in his last 12 tries...