Word: husbanding
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...used to be you could get a job at one of those factories, even without an education, and make a decent living to support your family," says letter carrier Dina Schueller, 33, of Saranac. Now her husband has been laid off from his construction job, and her brother moved to Maryland for work. Like many left-behind Michiganders, she'll be seeing fewer family members this season. "Christmas was always his favorite holiday," she says of her brother. "He was always the first...
...gathered over the past 20 years to show that the relationship between female in-laws can be far more tense than the one between a man and his wife's mom. After speaking with 163 people, Apter discovered that more than 60% of women felt that friction with their husband's mother had caused them long-term stress. Despite all the gags, only 15% of men complained that their mothers-in-law caused them headaches. (See the best and worst moms of all time...
...married just over a week ago, so I haven't had a mother-in-law for long. So far, so good. In the 10 days we've been in-laws, and the five years before that when my husband was my boyfriend, my relationship with his mom has been blissfully stress-free. And while we both like to think we're too charming and too wise to lock horns, there are other factors at play that help us stay friendly. One is proximity - or, in our case, the lack thereof. My husband and I live in London, while his mother...
Another savior of our relationship is my husband's relationship with his mother. "If I doubted my son's love for me, I'd be more likely to see you as a threat," she tells me. "But I don't." Apter's research supports that theory; she found that doubt is what drives any conflict between women and their mothers-in-law. "The root of the problem is vulnerability," says Apter, "the fear that the valuable relationship between mother and son is under threat as lives change. Mothers are left thinking, 'Will I still be valued for what I bring...
...mother know that she will be - a job most aren't very good at. "Daughters are better at reassuring their mothers that even though their lives are changing, they're still attached to their mothers," Apter says. "Men are less proactive about that reassurance." So every time my husband calls his mother to chat about the latest football scores, he takes us all another step further down the path of familial harmony...