Word: husbandly
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...other women, the secret funds are simply a way to acquire some financial independence. Jennifer, 40, started her stash several years ago, when she ran a home-based business and got tired of her husband's nosing around in her books. "Every time I turned around, he'd ask me which bills I had paid and how much was in my bank account," she complains. "It was aggravating." So with a few computer keystrokes, Jennifer altered the entries in her Quicken accounting program, derailing her husband's ability to keep track of her income...
...when women are marrying later in life and bringing more of their own hard-earned money to the altar. When Terri, an executive at a nonprofit organization, wedded at age 30, she already had a thriving career and her own condominium. "I brought assets, and my husband brought debts," she says. Instead of commingling all her resources, she secretly deposited $25,000 from the sale of her condo into a bank account that listed her mother's address...
...spouses. The most frequent lie--covering up the price of a purchase--was money related. While such relatively minor fibs are by far the most common, women's more substantial financial secrets range from saving money to surprise a spouse with an expensive gift to hiding assets from a husband in anticipation of a divorce...
...Psychologists point to another danger: stashes that are used to avoid conflict. "Money is such a loaded issue, many couples don't have the communication skills to talk about it," says Ellyn Bader, co-founder of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, Calif. But if you never engage your husband in frank discussions about the budget, you may drift further apart, she warns. "I see lots of premature divorces among couples who keep things so toned down that eventually the relationship feels empty...
...tension, and I had seen some ugly divorces," she explains. so she began to stow $100 bills in an old pair of alligator shoes hidden under a pile of hats in a closet. Two years ago, when the family finances had stabilized, she told her husband about her stash. By then it was so large--$12,000--that she felt he should know about it in case anything happened to her. They agreed to put the money in the bank, earmarked for a family trip...