Word: husbandly
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...debate over Rana Irfan's frequent trips back home to India took years to resolve. She enjoyed them, but her husband Kareem found them unnecessary. Eventually the issue was resolved in Kareem's favor, as are many between them. Their marriage, says Rana, 37, a spirited and sophisticated native of Bombay, is based on "consultation," but in the end, "someone has to take charge. That is my husband." It says as much in the Koran...
...strong social conservatism. Without accepting many of the harsh strictures imposed on their sisters worldwide, Islamic women here still support the separation of sexes at mosques and believe in modest dress (although the definition of modest varies). Parity in family decision making is on the increase, but the husband often has the last word. Women sacrifice their careers for their families. The gender assumptions resemble nothing so much as those in America in the 1950s...
...Kareem, who is chairman of the Islamic Organizations of Greater Chicago, is bemused. "It's amazing how many men know this quote from the Koran--if they know nothing else in it," he says. Most already understand the "beatings" as light taps. Further study, he maintains, would reveal that husband may punish wife for religious infractions only and that holy writ calls for "mutual consultation between husband and wife." He says so to men who come to him for Islamic counseling--advice they might have been less likely to get before moving here...
...embarrassing me by not wearing the veil.'" But Zuha is also a budding hoops star, with shelves full of Nancy Drew and Harry Potter--not Britney Spears but hardly subservient role models. Zuha's marriage will be arranged, but her parents promise she can reject their choice of husband if need be. Despite her education to date, she will attend a non-Muslim college. "It will be different," she says, with both hesitancy and curiosity. It always...
...think a lot of us feel we're waiting for life to happen, for something to make us into real adults. That's because our lives don't fit the lives we were supposed to have. As a 1950s person, I was supposed to get married and lead my husband's life, have children and later hold a regular job. I didn't want to do any of those things, but there was no alternative vision. What does adulthood look like if it doesn't look like what they told...