Word: ice
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...friendship between giver and receiver. It’s a show of strength, endurance, and blatant disregard for one’s health and liver. It’s a mark of true character—there is nothing like the respect earned by going down on an ice luge. But most importantly, it’s a great way to get absolutely obliterated on plastic-bottle booze without actually tasting a thing...
Moving on from athletics, the word “luge” is far too close to the word “loogie,” which is just gross, but also mostly accurate. An ice luge at a party results in a number of negative effects. Inevitably, a large amount of alcohol that missed its target mouths ends up spread across the floor, resulting in the typical sketchy, sticky floor. A large portion of the remaining alcohol ends up on the faces and shirts/dresses of those who try to use the ice luge, and nothing is more embarrassing than...
Also, in order to use the ice luge, you have to crouch down in an awkward squat just to take a shot. Apparently nobody has come up with the idea to prop an ice luge up to allow for standing luge runs. And inevitably, the drunkest, heaviest person in the room will saunter on over for a go. And inevitably, that person will subject themselves and everyone around to a good old bend-over. Nobody wins when that happens...
...mention that it’s just plain unnecessary? Yes, the alcohol is cold when it gets to your mouth off an ice luge. Awesome. Ever hear of an ice cube? This triumph of modern science allows you to enjoy a cold beverage of whatever alcohol content you desire while still keeping it classy and clean...
Essentially, nothing to do with a luge has ever resulted in something cool happening, ice luges included. Numbing your mouth on the frozen slobber of others just isn’t terribly exciting...