Word: idiot
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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What about a car horn that sprays sedatives into the air to knock out the idiot driver ahead and get him out of your way? On-the-run oil changes should be within reach of automotive science by the year 2025. And nuisance-sensing, high-voltage "stun cushions" to silence backseat drivers for the duration. Smart windshield wipers that shred any leaflet, handbill or parking ticket stuck under them? By 2025, a cinch...
...much more--the racially offensive college nickname; the all-night fraternity binge-drinking, sex and hazing orgy; the appearance of the local idiot who turns out to be 10 times as smart as the Nobelists on the faculty; the commencement speech that is different, I mean, really, really interesting; the old-boy and -girl network--how will anyone expect to get a job, especially in journalism...
...Pool: This is the most popular way to wager money on the NCAA tournament. Usually twenty educated basketball enthusiasts pay $5 for the right to lose it to some lucky idiot who guessed that Seton Hall would beat Temple...
Tell your idiot subscribers about how great the stock is, and, like sheep, they will run out and buy it," riffed the message. "Dump the shares you bought...[on] all of these suckers...watch the stock steadily tank...and laugh all the way to the bank...
...spectacular though I've never seen it. Shows run Thursday through Saturday and tickets are selling at the speed of light so act quickly..."Your column reminds me of Liz Smith," said a friend the other day. "That's a terrible thing to say. Liz Smith is a total idiot," I replied. "Yeah, but you come off as an airhead. I mean, that's cool though. That's the point, right?" Uh. No. I'm smart. I swear! You can ask my mom. She'll be one of the tourists in the Square this weekend...