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...Wait, that’s not how you spell [insert noun, verb, adjective, adverb, preposition, conjunction, article or ‘boo-ya’ here...
...these scholarships hurt the incentive system, we can insert more creative policies to keep students working at the tippy-top of their ability. Each semester we can thin the herd by culling the underachievers. If you know you will be expelled if you don’t pull a 250th in that Core, you will start working hard. By cutting out the lazy, we would make Harvard a more prestigious University, where people do their best work, or as the weakest link, they leave—goodbye. But why stop there...
...Even if you don't like the jokes, you can always marvel at the design of the thing. "Acme Novelty Library" takes its title literally. You never get just comix. This issue has a special insert on cardstock of a cut-out, constructible miniature nickelodeon. It would probably work too. Elsewhere he fills an entire giant-sized page with a joke treatise, printed in a phone-book-sized font, on the different types of collectors. As always, even the indicia gets the Ware treatment, in that typically fussy prose of his: "Also, please note, should you be a German...
Mashed potatoes are the ultimate comfort food. But boiling the potatoes and whipping them up just right is a drag. Now homemaker Carmina O'Connor of Warrenville, Ill., has patented a mashed-potato machine that cooks, mashes and flavors potatoes in just 20 min. Chefs insert washed potatoes into a food processor-size device and add water and seasonings. A finalist in Hammacher Schlemmer's Search for Invention 2001 competition, O'Connor hopes that someday "mashed-potato machines will be for Americans what rice cookers are for Asians." Now all she needs is someone to make and market her invention...
...Conspiracy is a Swedish punk-rock band with a definite mission. The band is philosophically autonomist Marxist—each of their songs is revolutionary in nature and political in content and quote authors such as Noam Chomsky, Samuel Beckett, George Orwell and, of course, Karl Marx. The album insert includes an essay entitled “The Global Fear Factory,” an earnest and slightly naïve piece about how capitalism breeds “subtle and diffuse low-level fear” and how resistance movements are springing up “on a plane...