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...boring chunk of self-indulgence that GNR could’ve spit out in 1993 and saved itself the effort. Not for its sheer magnitude could it even be crazier than “808s and Heartbreak.” Lunacy, thy name is Kanye. —Ryan J. Meehan is the incoming Books Editor. He is insignificant...
...Mighty Heart.” 5. “Quantum of Solace” Sounds Like: No freakin’ clue. Actual: No freakin’ clue—except that Bond doesn’t sleep with the girl. —Claire J. Saffitz is outgoing Movies Editor. She has even less purpose than Josh...
...however, seem to make reference to figures in Ancient Greek lore. Though I have yet to decipher the connection between the biblical Goliath and these Greek figures, I can still appreciate The Mars Volta’s needlessly highbrow style. Keep up the good work. —Joshua J. Kearney is the outgoing Music Editor and an incoming Arts Chair. He studies Classics and has no purpose in life...
...Harvard, his “parties” would consist of chugging half a fifth of vodka and hooking up with Daisy’s blockmate on a pool table at the Spee. Which is to say there are about a thousand Jay Gatsbys at Harvard. Character: Ignatius J. Reilly—“A Confederacy of Dunces” by John Kennedy Toole Caricature: Harvard Salient Guy It might be tough to picture the obese, gassy Reilly playing croquet or palling around with Harvard C. Mansfield ’53, but his hilarious anti-modern screeds are stilted...
...stereotypes—one is dangerously ignored in standard education curricula, and the other is a little too reinforced on the show. One day I hope to be one-half of Happy Couple. (Also, never, ever be the only team on an airplane flight. Ever.) —Denise J. Xu is an incoming Campus Arts Editor. She’s almost definitely the next Ryan Seacrest. Or Jeff Probst...