Word: jacked
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...plot is a manhunt, both literal and psychological. Magnus vanishes, leaving his wife Mary and friend and fellow spy Jack Brotherhood to deduce his whereabouts. There is a false trail that seems to lead to Scotland; in fact, Pym is holed up as Mr. Canterbury in a Devon boardinghouse. He is fairly sure that his superiors know he has passed secrets to a Communist agent, an old school chum. But Magnus is not trying to escape; he is only buying time to write his story so that his family and friends will know the truth. In addition, Rickie...
...cattle ranchers, the USDA last week began an 18- month program of buying 400 million lbs. of red meat for school lunches, overseas military bases and other uses. But for the next several months, those purchases are not expected to keep pace with the dairy slaughter. Says Rancher Jack Sparrowk, who runs a herd of 25,000 cattle near Sacramento: "The USDA is asleep at the switch...
NATURALLY, JACK FEELS pretty awful about the whole thing, seeing as it was his fault that Lilly ever got to touch the now stiffening unicorn in the first place. So with the help of a somewhat lustful fairy queen, the forest knave acquires the requisite set of used armor and hauls his butt over to a humungous oak tree, which serves as Evil's headquarters. His main goal is to save his girlfriend and the last remaining unicorn in the universe, both of which have been captured by the forces of darkness. If he fails, the sun will never rise...
...rest of Legend, about an hour, is spent on the mundane but difficult tasks of climbing out of dungeons, scaling huge walls, crossing pirahna-infested moats and busting through magic doors. There is a climactic battle between Jack and Evil at the end, in which one of them wins and the other goes spinning off into an infinite void--you can guess who gets the girl and who gets the shaft...
...fantasy movie plots are stupid--but that the characters are not even slightly interesting. In the best GOOD versus EVIL films, the hero and accompanying crew will have a sense of humour about what they are doing. They will have blemishes, character defects and haunting memories which motivate them. Jack has nothing but a pretty face and a set of isometrically honed forearms. Similarly, Lilly does not even have a trace of the independent bitchiness of Princess Leia, one of the few cinematic fantasy heroines that had a modicum of actual character. Although she does play a role...