Word: jacobowitz
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...midnight four months ago, Eden Jacobowitz, a first-year, was attempting to study in his dorm when he was interrupted by a group of Black sorority members screaming and stomping their way through an initiation ceremony outside his room...
...annoyed Jacobowitz implored, "Shut up, you water buffalo!" Other students yelled racial epithets at the young sorority sisters, but Jacobowitz was the only one who owned up to having said anything when University police stormed the building looking for racists and grabbing at straws...
Invoking the school's speech codes, the sorority members filed a charge of racial harassment against Jacobowitz, reasoning that "water buffalo" is a racial slur. Up until this point, both sides' idiotic behavior--the shouting and the charging of Jacobowitz--could be dismissed as overzealous love of study and complaint, respectively...
Enter Robin Read, the campus judicial inquiry officer, who is long on authority but woefully short on brains. After her Orwellian questions about the possibility of Jacobowitz having "racist thoughts" got her nowhere, Ms. Read drew on her pitifully deficient knowledge of the fauna of the world...
Maybe Read had a premonition that the geographic distribution of water buffalo would not back up her wildly inaccurate flailings, for she offered Jacobowitz a deal: He could conduct a racial sensitivity session or he could face trial and clear his name--or get himself expelled...