Word: janee
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...Cool News review, supposedly written by the mother of a friend of AICN critic Moriarty, tosses Spidey 3 into the sar-chasm by informing us that "There's only about 25 minutes of actual Spidey footage in this movie - which makes all kinds of room for: That darling Mary Jane singing (two songs!). Peter Parker crying. Harry [Osborn] crying.... The Sandman crying. Eddie Brock crying. Mary Jane crying. Aunt May crying.... And yes, I might as well tell you, there ARE a few action scenes that get in the way of all the interesting stuff between the characters and their...
...Thomas Haden Church), the recidivist hoodlum - and murderer of Peter's sainted uncle - goes all soft and moist as he clutches his young daughter's locket. Peter has a jewelry fetish too: his aunt has given him her wedding ring, which he plans to present to his girlfriend Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst). But our hero has more urgent concerns. His protracted adolescent funk has given way to an anxiety crisis, from which his ability to soar over the city saving lives cannot extricate...
...this superhero's cocaine. The headlines are the high - that, and the attentions of ultra-blond trophy girl Gwen (Bryce Dallas Howard). The "something from outer space" Stewart referred to is really just an expression of the inner conflict between the old and new Peter. "Who are you?" Mary Jane demands, and Peter honestly replies, "I don't know...
...Spider-Man 3 isn't very up-to-date either; indeed, it's defiantly anachronistic. Black-Peter is fond of 40s jive talk ("Now dig this") and antique hipster choreography. Mary Jane, who harbors the outmoded ambition to be a Broadway musical star, sings a ballad ("They Say It's Wonderful") from Irving Berlin's 1946 show Annie Get Your Gun. The film's main emotional points are loyalty to your parents, or parent figures, and fidelity to your friends - the lessons of the uber-square Andy Hardy movies from the 40s. And Spidey 3, like the first film...
...Mary Jane - M.J. - is the ostensible focus of Peter's yearnings. But except for her showbiz career (which suggests she wants the kind of public recognition that's showered on him), her worries don't mirror his. For M.J. has a crush on herself. When she asks Peter, "Do you love me?" the implied tag is "...as much as I love me?" An action film needs a love interest, if only for the hero to untie her from the railroad tracks, but not one who's a narcissist. And M.J. is way more self-absorbed than the movie...