Word: joes
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...that I've seen the movie, I understand the Paramount bosses' urge to suppress it. G.I. Joe has plenty of narrative strands, most of them taken from the '80s TV cartoon show and Marvel comic version of the antique Hasbro soldier figures, but they are woven clumsily. Director Stephen Sommers, who did the Mummy trilogy, has no skill with actors and little more with the manipulation of real and virtual hardware. We know the theme will be "War is swell," but the film plays like a long slog in the Big Muddy. (See pictures of ninja warriors: from myth...
...Like Paramount's recent spiffed-up Star Trek franchise, the new movie casts a number of medium-known young people - here Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols and a few others - as members of an élite force of the best, the brightest and the hottest. G.I. Joe is not a man but an international paramilitary force, kind of like Blackwater but without all that messy scandal. The cadre is up against an arms dealer whose organization will eventually spawn Cobra, reminiscent of the SPECTRE cartel of the early James Bond films. They're the sort of well-bred terrorists...
...adventure boasts a lot of real and virtual shooting, but few of the major characters get killed. The only collateral damage is in the audience, where, as you sit through the movie, you can feel your IQ drop minute by minute. (Read a brief history of G.I. Joe...
...only just begun," one of them says, explicitly promising or threatening a sequel. Will there be more of the same? It doesn't matter to me, or I to the filmmakers; my G.I. tract, in fact the communal contumely of critics, is irrelevant to box-office performance. G.I. Joe could be a Transformers-size hit, or it could be another The Golden Compass, the first episode of the His Dark Materials novels; that film cost $180 million and helped drive New Line Cinema out of business. Who knows? Nearly 30 years ago, director Robert Benton mused on a famous flop...
...Joe has seen a lot of action over his 45 years. The soldier has been a toy, a comic book, a cartoon, another toy and several videogames. But on Aug. 7, G.I. Joe gets his most challenging mission yet: anchoring his own live-action film. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra hopes it can emulate Transformers and turn nostalgia for the 1980s toys and cartoons into success at the box office. (See pictures of ninja warriors: from myth to movies...