Word: joshing
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Hurried and hushed negotiations commence. Mary Lou huddles with Sandy and Joyce to discuss logistical changes involved in meeting Josh's request. Dylan will have to return early. Dana too. Within ten minutes, it's settled. Sandy and Joyce will make the round-trip drive on Sunday. Josh will be at practice...
Within a few years of the divorce, Sandy remarried, and Josh's family grew by two. His stepmother is Joyce McPhetres Maisel, 31, a college counselor who, like Sandy, was divorced. She has a nine-year-old son, Dylan McPhetres. The new family structure can get confusing. Dylan calls his stepfather "Sandy." Dana and Josh call him "Dad" and their stepmother "Joyce." Bouncing back and forth can trip Dylan up. "Sometimes I call my dad 'Josh' because I'm used to saying his name," says Dylan. "Once I called my stepmother 'Mom' and I also called Sandy 'Dad' once...
...Friday afternoon, Josh's mix-and-match family is in the bleachers at Belmont High watching him play basketball. Sandy shouts loudly at each play Josh makes. Joyce arrives from work at half time. Mary Lou sits with Dana a short distance away. That night she'll drive the kids two hours north for a planned three-day holiday weekend; Dylan will be dropped off in Kennebunk, Me., to spend time with his father. A different parent will bring all three children back to Belmont. Parenthood in the late 20th century: love and logistics and chagrin...
...When Josh comes out of the locker room, he kisses his father, hugs Joyce, gives his mom a kiss and says softly to her, "I have basketball practice on Monday. It's important to me." The coach called practice when the team lost. Josh wants to be with his team even if it means cutting short his visit with Mom. The delicate letting-go stage of parenting has begun...
...Belmont parental expectations are high. Parents typically work in high- pressure, top-dollar professional jobs around Boston. In many families both parents work full time, as Josh's do. Success is trumpeted at Josh's school, as it is in Josh's family. More than one-third of the Maisels in his father's generation made Phi Beta Kappa. In Belmont some 90% of high school students go to college. Many fear dire consequences if they do not get into the "right" college, and competition for those cherished spots is keen. "In Belmont it's the gold medal or nothing...