Word: ketchup
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...jokes. It's like looking at old porn: you can't expect people who had body hair and no Pilates to seem hot now. But if you give yourself a chance to settle into it, as any good New Yorker reader trained on 5,000-word stories about ketchup would, you start to laugh at even the 1925 section of The Complete Cartoons of the New Yorker. The rhythms might be slower, the references outdated and the attitude more restrained, but funny, it turns out, stays funny. Old porn, it turns out, also gets funny...
MEANWHILE IN THE U.S. ... A Bottled Debate The makers of Heinz tomato ketchup defended the impartiality of their product in response to a suggestion by a Republican Assemblyman in New York State that buying the stuff would benefit the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry. Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz Kerry was first married to the late John Heinz, a descendant of the H.J. Heinz Co.'s founder. The Pennsylvania-based company said that its ketchup is "enjoyed by Republicans, Democrats and Independents alike" - and that neither Kerry nor his wife hold a significant number of shares...
...HUPD officer was sent to 10 DeWolfe St. to investigate a report that graffiti had been discovered on the door of the building. The responding officer reported that the graffiti had been drawn in ketchup and could thus be wiped off without permanent damage...
...first 14 days, no fruit, bread, pasta, grains, milk or even ketchup. You'll add a few carbs back later...
President Bush may not be remembered as a linguistic innovator. But in the tradition of classifying ketchup as a vegetable, a classic from the Reagan era, the Bush Administration may leave a rich legacy of redefining terms for regulatory purposes. Perhaps you thought a wild fish is one hatched in the wild. You would be mistaken, according to Bush's environmental stewards. Under a new plan, the distinction between farm-bred salmon, which are later released into rivers and streams, and their cousins hatched in the wild will be removed. That will instantly raise the overall tally of salmon...