Word: keycards
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Undergraduates will no longer need to call friends from Centrex phones outside or "piggyback" off good samaritans to gain entry to Quincy House thanks to a universal keycard access pilot plan scheduled to begin at the end of this month...
...have yet to see any sort of substantive debate on any of the myriad rallying calls like "Faculty diversity," "core reform" or "universal keycard access." But this is the kind of thing students are yearning for. We saw this last year when students packed into Sanders Theater to hear a discussion on affirmative action. Looking around campus this year, we see scores of students signing up for the IOP-sponsored forums, dedicating their time to various organizations with politically or socially-motivated aims. Apathetic? Hardly...
...would like to thank you for standing firm against the free-loving, drug-dealing hippies who wish to create universal keycard access in all the undergraduate Houses. I know you have taken taken heat from those who see no reason why a safe, sober Eliot House resident would become a menace to society upon entering, say, Mather. But I know why you have stood by your principles. I have walked through the halls of other Houses and seen their denizens-particularly that squinty-eyed guy in New Quincy--and thought to myself countless times Thank God those people...
...want a keycard reader on the door to my room, just to keep myself honest. Otherwise, someday. I'll come home to find my laptop missing, and then discover it weeks later under my bed, stripped down and its parts sold for Crimson Cash. Inside the room, I want a Harvard-installed detector on my closet that slams the door on my head if I try to pick out shorts for myself when it's sunny and 12 degrees outside. Or stripes and plaids together. Or a black belt and brown shoes. Come to think of it, maybe you should...
...refusal to allow universal access: a Leverett House student is being chased across campus by a calculator-brandishing Kirkland premed whose chemistry lab report she just jumped dumped Powerade on. The Leverett student hurriedly swipes into her building and slams the door behind her, safe. A success story for keycard balkanization, right? Not quite. Is she really a Leverett resident? How do you know she didn't just transfer there because it was easier to steal bikes from the racks outside that particular House? Maybe letting her in is just the beginning of your problems...