Word: kilts
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...delinquent, ex-world champion and, presently, a TV actor, Rocky had a fistful of forceful, if ungrammatical, opinions on teen-agers ("they oughta be good"), TV performing ("my director says he'll fire me if I ever turn into an actor"), and the U.S. ("I'd a kilt my father if he hadn't caught the boat over here...
...Hill. He ran successfully for governor of New York and Vice President of the U.S. while bands blared A Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight, and admirers extravagantly told of his exploits (Finley Peter Dunne as "Mr. Dooley" wrote: "In Wounded Knee he busts a broncho that has kilt almost th' entire male popylation; busts it so har-rd 'twud dhraw a baby cerredge without wakin' the occupant...
...turn to appeal. Lord Goddard, the Lord Chief Justice, heard the case last week. Two doctors told him that Eva had rheumatism, and ought to be kept warm. "But keeping warm has nothing to do with wearing slacks," boomed one judge. "One of the warmest garments is the kilt." Lord Goddard summed up: "Suppose some parents said they thought that in summer a child, in the interests of health, should go to school without clothes-what then? Would the headmistress be obliged to admit the child? The headmistress has the right and power to keep discipline." Spiers was ordered...
...Fixing Kilt. Bernstein's most forceful argument for sprightliness is Winners & Sinners itself. When a Times headline said COAST OIL DIGGING URGED TO CUT DEBT, he replied: "Dig that crazy word . . . Oil wells are usually drilled rather than dug." Grammatical errors are listed under the head, "English the King wouldn't like" ("He had been ill for several months and had underwent a gall bladder operation six weeks ago," or "Then, after Jim Hearn had left a 2-1 victory in the nightcap slip away . . ."). A lively headline-MOCKTAIL TIXING KILT, COCKTAIL MIXING TILT...
...Dubliner, Dr. Raymond G. Cross, offered suggestions which made some of his colleagues blink: 1) because overheating of the testicles reduces sperm production, tight-fitting underwear is bad-a kilt is just the thing; 2) a man whose sperm output is below par should eat onions, garlic, bananas, celery, parsley, honey, cheese and molasses, and drink stout; 3) before trying to bring about conception, such a husband should remain continent for ten days to six weeks...