Word: kinyanjui
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Even as a boy Patrick Kinyanjui knew he was gay. "I just wasn't attracted to girls," says the handsome 36-year-old Kenyan. "I even tried to have a girlfriend when I was 19 just to be sure it was not a passing thing but I couldn't keep her. I was dissatisfied with the relationship." Like many young gays, Kinyanjui struggled with "this conflict in me" before coming to terms with his homosexuality. "Once I accepted it I felt like a rock had been removed from my back," he says. "Being gay is not something you get into...
...Unfortunately for Kinyanjui, few of his fellow Africans see it that way. Homosexuality is socially and officially shunned in Africa. With the exception of South Africa, whose constitution bans discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, most countries treat homosexuality as illegal and punish its practice with lengthy prison sentences. African leaders actively oppose gay rights and seem personally repulsed that some of their citizens may be gay. Kenyan President Daniel arap Moi has called homosexuality a scourge, while Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni last year ordered the arrest of a gay couple for "abominable acts." Perhaps the best known...
...Like Ochilo, Kinyanjui, who is a Nairobi-based marketing manager, is careful whom he tells about his sexual orientation. When colleagues at a former job discovered he was gay, some threatened to quit and others began cleaning the phone every time he used it. "People become outcasts," he says. "Society doesn't want to have anything to do with you." Scholastica Mghallu, 28, a lesbian teacher in Kenya, says she looks forward to the day "when it will no longer be a crime to be gay. We need to uplift each other...
...Kinyanjui it comes down to respect. Now living with his boyfriend of 13 years, Kinyanjui earned the admiration of his mother and siblings by being open and honest. "My mum never showed me any hatred and so the rest of my family had to follow suit," he says, sipping a cold drink at an upmarket Nairobi restaurant. "I think if you give respect you will get it in return." For African gays and lesbians, though, finding that attitude in others remains rare...
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