Word: kirkland
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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After eight years as the Kirkland House security guard, Bob Butler really "knows his kids," he says. And so every December, he is able to provide accurate personality profiles and appropriate gift suggestions for Secret Santa participants...
Once she's gotten the "meat on him," the inquisitive Santa thanks Bob for the advice. Then she reveals her own holiday desires: "If my Secret Santa happens to ask, tell them I want ten of the hottest Kirkland guys performing [as] Chippendales, in the dining room, down to their boxers...." This is "a tall order," but Bob promises her he'll "do [his] best...
...seen "a lot of crazy things" in his eight-year tenure at Kirkland; the unpredictable antics of his residents are a perpetual source of amusement. Unfortunately, not everything can be dismissed as harmless, rowdy fun: though he is reluctant to "bust chops," occasionally Bob must "stop kids from doing what they want, because...
When he's not wandering the far corners of Kirkland house, Bob can be found in the superintendent's office, leaning back in a worn wooden chair. He sings a few bars of a favorite 50s tune along with the radio, awaiting the nightly visit of his "coffee girl." This widely-coveted post is bestowed on an especially favored resident who has displayed a particular talent for following directions, since Bob's nightly coffee must be prepared according to precise specifications. "One sugar, one cream, lightly stirred, counter-clock-wise," he explains with finesse...
After lengthy deliberations, the PBH election commission chose John B. King '95, a resident of Kirkland house, as its new president...