Word: kleine
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...Klein culled professional and literary works and consulted dozens of psychologists and psychiatrists for her book. She also drew heavily on questionnaires filled out by 500 mothers, ranging in age from their late 20s to late 60s. Almost half the women had in-depth follow-up discussions. Two hundred men, aged 15 to late 50s, most of them unrelated to the female respondents, were interviewed at length...
...many women, says Klein, a son means a sense of completeness. Said one subject: "It's as if, through him, I've found the missing half of myself." Fathers do not identify as strongly with daughters, seeing their role more as protector. The feeling of creating a lost half may account for the extraordinarily close relationship between some mothers and sons, but it is not without dangers. As the boy matures and is shaped by the woman's sensibilities, he may emerge as his mother's perfect man, her emotional and intellectual mate. Says Klein...
...central dilemma for mother and son is when to ease the tie. "Traditionally," says Klein, "we encourage an emotional and physical distancing from mothers earlier in boys than in girls." Part of the reason is fear of the erotic potential of the bond, but in addition there is the cultural belief that boys should be stoic, competitive and independent. Klein believes the separation comes too soon for boys, and they pay a heavy price: "I'm convinced it is what creates fears of intimacy and makes them unable to express their feelings as adults." One sign that...
Curiously, the feminist movement, which has done much to break traditional gender roles, has been slow in turning its attention to the way boys are reared. "Feminists," notes Klein, "have been devoted to strengthening the lives of daughters, largely by adopting male traits. But we have neglected to prepare boys to be the mates of liberated daughters by fostering some feminine traits. Mothers agitate more to get their daughters admitted to a shop class or a ball team than they do to get sons into a sewing or dance group...
...Klein is remarkably reticent about her own relationship with her son William, a public-radio producer. He is more forthcoming. His admiring view of women, he believes, was shaped in great part by his mother's ability to juggle career, marriage and children. He remembers a poster she once tacked up in her office at home. "It said SUPERMOM WORKS HERE," recalls William Klein. "And, you know, she was right...