Word: koresh
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...let’s see...the leg bone’s connected to the...knee bone, and the knee bone’s connected to the...fuck. 11) [Spanish] No, no puede. 12) [Philosophy] This question can be answered through the work of the great twentieth century philosopher David Koresh. 13) [Statistics] Here’s a statistic for you: nine inches. Soft. 14) [VES] I would like to answer this question in the form of an interpretive dance.* 15) [MR 54: “If there is no God, is all permitted?”] Yes. *FM apologizes...
...some fluke, I found myself in a string of Facebook message conversations with one upperclassman. He warned me against having a thousand Facebook friends before even arriving at college and directed me to the Facebook group “Holy Shit, the Class of 2009 Should Perform a David Koresh-style Mass Suicide.” These upperclassmen were right, of course. Why did I need to have 300 cyber friends whom I had yet to meet? Really, I was sort of creepy. After that, I reformed. I trimmed down my Facebook friends list and dumped Facebook groups like...
...subliminal messages?” Past BoC staples include Satanic symbolism, esoteric mathematical facts (what is “The Smallest Weird Number?”), creepy track and album lengths (“Geogaddi” was 66:06), repeated references to Waco cult leader David Koresh and the Branch Davidians, and muffled children giggling and counting out of order. Combine this with the seductive mystique of Hexagon Sun and the group’s appropriately secretive “Redmoon nights” of experimental music and bonfires in the lonely Scottish wilderness, and you get a glimmer...
Some upperclassmen just aren't as welcoming as we are. They've responded to 2009's legions of facebook whores with groups like the vicious "Holy shit the class of 2009 should perform a David Koresh-style mass suicide," complete with a Goya painting of Saturn devouring his young. A quote from the group warns first-years that prefects may "poison [their] study break fare with arsenic or tricky laxatives." We're just trying to get all of them quadded...
...really the selfish product of lunacy. In America, the most free and modern nation of our time, you see it too. You saw it with Jim Jones, who told his flock in Guyana to follow him into death by drinking poisoned Kool-Aid, and you saw it when David Koresh created his own small hell in Waco, Texas...