Word: lamonts
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...Lamont Library (like its Quad counterpart, Hilles) is officially a home for undergrads who might otherwise get lost in Widener, requiring the University to send out an expensive and embarrassing search party. Lamont is supposed to be a kinder, gentler library in which you can ask the reference librarian where they keep Mad magazine and not feel like a moron...
Even first-year students know that Lamont is the place to go during reading period--they can meet all the people they didn't get to meet during Orientation Week or, maybe, if they are lucky, find a copy of the Moral Reasoning 22 Sourcebook on reserve...
ALTHOUGH practically all of Lamont's books are duplicate copies of those in Widener, non-undergrads generally perceive Lamont as just an extension of Widener that actually has enough light by which to read the books they find. They invade this undergrad refuge like poachers in an African game preserve. They expect the special privileges they get at Widener, and recognizing their overwhelming academic importance, the University often obliges...
While an undergrad or untitled grad student complains to the workers at the circulation desk about Lamont raising its overdue fines by 150 percent this year, an Officer can hold books for months without accumulating any fines...
...night when I was working at Lamont's circulation desk, a middle-aged man returned eleven books that were three months overdue. I took his books and smiled sadistically, thinking about how high his fine would...