Word: lampooner
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Good triumphed over the darkest forces of evil Saturday afternoon, as the Crimson shelacked the Lampoon, 23-2, in softball action at Soldiers' Field. the big, brawny 'Poonics swatted only air as they chased after Crimed hurler Mark Doctoroff's choice selection of pitches...
...Lampoon nine's cackles of glee quickly gave way to a dull gloom as a long string of goose eggs went up on the big scoreboard. The heroic Crimeds chortled as the game turned into a joke, far better than any that have appeared in the Lampoon in recent memory...
Nearly two dozen Crimson stalwarts crossed the plate while the "Phomies could only look on grnning vapidly at there owit ineffective stabs at humer. The Crimson, meanwhile, made like the batth ships that CWW '38 would like to refurbish, pounding the Lampoon pitching for over six dozen hits...
...occurred to us, and we call on the University to carry it out at once. Why not uproot Harvard's ivy and transplant it (gingerly-remember the stuff dissolves cement at the touch) to walls more suited for the tendril's secretion; the Pentagon, the Yale Bowl, and the Lampoon Castle come quickly to mind. Harvard would thus keep the Houses from crumbling and at the same time comply with student's demands that the cherished ivy be saved. Who could ask for more...
...Lampy Out Today" banner continued to fly above the portals of the Harvard Lampoon late this week, but nine undisturbed. A 4 a.m. foray by nine unidentified Crimson editors fell narrowly short of removing the offensive banner Friday morning, stopped only by the chance arrival of the Harvard police. But the Crimeds pledged to continue with unflagging effort, promising to be better prepared for their next assault Stay tuned...