Word: lapped
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...every d-bag and their mother comes back to school with a sick tan from the Caribbean or chafed legs from a trek on Brokeback Mountain, one thing is abundantly clear: second semester will probably be terrible. Back in September, in our very first Bell Lap column, we offered some guidelines for making sure your Back to School stock was high. Unfortunately, it seems the last days of summer spent masturbating to Laguna Beach reruns caused us to forget certain fundamental truths about Harvard. Although Catizone kept it fresh in his jean jacket and Schonberger happily resorted...
...could vote for a Catholic candidate after all. "Because this man was willing to wipe the tears from my daughter (in-law's) eyes" he said, "I've got a suitcase of votes, and I'm going to take them to Mr. Kennedy and dump them in his lap...
...bathysphere or hacking her way into the interior of the Amazon jungle, only that jungle is all around us every day. Ned took her places most women don't go, or can't, or wouldn't if you paid them. She joined an all-male bowling league. She ordered lap dances at strip clubs. She went on an Iron John--style men's retreat. She even spent three weeks in a Catholic monastery, in which she found that the ancient question "Ginger or Mary Ann?" was still being debated...
...every aspect of his personal and professional life on the altar of mockery. Was his one starring role in a big American film (Around the World in 80 Days) an abysmal flop? Put it in the movie. Was he discovered, while still married, in a London hotel with two lap dancers? Allude to that as well. And has he, like everyone on the set, not read the novel? Then let him complain, "Would you believe a book this big doesn't have an index...
Most Harvard seniors accept their degree as if it were a baton, rushing off to the next lap of life—sometimes a stint in investment banking or professional school...