Word: legendizes
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Catharsis, self-improvement, escapism, ignorance...but if you are going willingly to watch Urban Legend, the latest teen scream flick to hit the shallow-entertainment market, here are some suggestions for what to say when others ask you why on earth...
...could say, "Well, I lack imagination, and have no appreciation for the value of a plot." The achievement of Urban Legend is that it gives you the visuals to go with all those stories you've heard before, because, God knows, we no longer have the brainpower to see stories in our heads anymore. Stories like the infamous kidney heist, or the familiar axe-murderer in the backseat of the car, are incarnated on film for the weak-at-mind. It's a film where everyone can be the loud-mouthed ass to cry, "I know what happens next...
More than anything, the attempts at excitement in Urban Legend are frustratingly defeated for any thinking person. How does the lone serial killer move all the bodies to the same place without help and within the space of several frames? How much space is there in a car anyway to let you really swing an axe with any decent momentum behind...
...Urban Legend does well to follow the success route of Scream and I know What You Did Last Summer by sourcing TV shows for its cast. However, the star quality in this film is still lamentably low. Should a sequel worm its way out of this, it will look even worse because all the better-looking characters have already been slain. Witt, whose heroine I have called spunky and independent as a euphemism for the only girl on campus without a sex life, has eyes of stone in a pinched face. She should have been killed long...
...always been a fan of Eudora, the versatile, easy-to-use Internet e-mail program. It wasn't just that it was named after Mississippi legend Eudora Welty (inspired by her short story "Why I Live at the P.O."). Nor was it that Steve Dorner, the guy who wrote the program a decade ago and gave it away free, personally answers the 1,000 e-mail messages he gets each week from admirers and flamers alike. What I loved most about Eudora was that, aside from working beautifully, it is not owned by Microsoft...