Word: lemons
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...United States, Hooch responded to objections that the sweet drink would obviously appeal to kids--changing its marketing strategy and no longer referring to its product as a "lemonade"--no such change is taking place here. In fact, Hooch hopes to be as big as the enormous lemon-shaped balloon it gives out as the grand raffle prize at its promotions. Next up for Hooch Russia is the introduction of two new flavors before the end of the year: orange and banana. One shudders to think about the promotional events they will come up with for Hooch Banana...
...There is, however, a dark horse among the drinking crowd, one that is clamorously making a name for itself-Hooper's Hooch. An alcoholic lemonade drink with a no-nonsense name, the Hooch has launched a full-assault media blitz worthy of Stalinist propaganda campaign. The company advertisement--a lemon-man grinning a broad, Jack Nicholson-esque grin as he clutches a bottle of Hooch in his leafy fist--is plastered onto the walls of every subway car in motion. Bottles of Hooch can not only be found behind nearly every bar in Moscow but, more frighteningly, at most...
...opposite sex holds the bottle. Perhaps the most bizarre event however, involves two people who have rubber hoses tied around their waists with a bottle of Hooch hanging off the end. The race is on to see who can, through the most adept pelvic thrusts, knock a lemon across the dance floor using only the dangling bottle. After the race is over, both contestants get a free Hooch hat, the promoters toss out a handful of Hooch condoms, and the whole bar gets another round of the "fresh, lemony beverage...
According to those people who run the promotion, it the international Hooch situation is even weirder. At a British pub in Moscow, the promoters once brought in a lemon-shaped kiddie pool for a "bobbing for Hooches" event, in which the contestants had to pick a bottle off the bottom with their teeth. One man, after sticking his face in the water, somehow undid the cap and drank the entire bottle under water. At another promotion, Tatyana, one of the "Hooch Girls," saw someone swallow a lemon whole in a lemon-eating contest, "in one second, I swear," she says...
...medalists, they abruptly took a silver--and a bronze. Indeed, second-place Chris Thorpe and Gordy Sheer came within 22/1,000ths of a second of the mighty Germans, who had collected a gold, a silver and a bronze in the previous three Olympics. Zipping down the track in their lemon yellow suits, the Americans (who recorded with their two teammates a theme song titled Arctic Evil Knievels) pumped their fists as they saw their 0-for-27 Olympic-medal streak...