Word: lester
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That this was the case Vag discovered approximately two minutes after entering the city--where he had heard was being held a street concert featuring that swinging master of the Eastern Gilt Edge circuit, Lester Lanin. As Vag made his way towards the center of town he barely avoided colliding with a gentleman, weaving and listing rather badly to port, who had succeeded in losing dinner and a large portion of lunch over his shirt and sportcoat. A quick glance and regrettably long sniff sufficed to give Vag an impression of Brockton which nothing would ever remove...
...fact that Vag had left Cambridge and driven over the scenic route south through Mattapan and other such unpleasant locales was in itself an event of more than usual moment. It required the beautiful concept of Lester Lanin playing his cotillion-brand music before thousands of uncouth wonks who had never seen the inside of a ballroom, much less L.L. in person. To lure Vag to Brockton, of course, the fact that Jerri Vale and Joni James, along with the "live-five" disk-jockey staff of WBZ, would be sharing the same bandstand with the great man added...
...Lester trotted to the mike, allowed as how he was very pleased to be playing before such a wonderful crowd and for such a noble cause (a clinic for child guidance, the need for which was amply demonstrated during the course of the evening), and proceeded to his music ("the order of the day"). After running through a pleasant little medley of Lester Lanin favorites, L.L. brought his musicians to a halt and turned around to accept the fervent applause of the appreciative multitude. There was no applause. Lester thanked the audience anyway, and, rather embarrassed, went back...
Despite numerous exhortations on the part of L.L. and the disk-jockeys, Lester's music did not seem to move the populace to a spirit of dancing. Indeed, there were probably no more than ten people dancing in the entire square, two of which Vag noticed rocking to a medium-pace Lanin fox-trot. After this set was completed, followed again by a deafening silence, a long line of state and local celebrities filed onto the bandstand to say a few ungrammatical sentences to the assembly. Most nobable among them was perhaps Mayor Phil Des-Rosiers who welcomed...
After a few more attempts at musical excitement, L.L. gave up and pulled out his ace-in-the-hole, Lester Lanin hats, which he tossed benevolently to the agitated throng immediately in front of the bandstand. The last of the hats brought silence anew, and Vag began to fear anew that his sadistic dreams of mutilation and riot would go unrealized. His last hope lay in Joni James and Jerri Vale, and they failed him. The crowd watched mutely as Joni and Jerri appeared, sang their songs and left; Lester began to play again...