Word: lifeless
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Director Michael Caton-Jones has created a confused jumble of bad accents, loud music, stale techno-babble and Richard Gere in a lifeless remake of the 1973 hit The Day of the Jackal. Traveling by minivan and rotating haircolors faster than Dennis Rodman, The Jackal (Bruce Willis) stalks a mystery target while the FBI scrambles to catch up with him, using the expertise of former IRA terrorist Declan Mulqueen (Richard Gere). When Mulqueen and Jackal finally meet, sparks fly...and a gay kiss occurs. OK, not really, but it sure would make this dopey flick a lot more interesting...
...emphasis, focusing on the Chief Constable. The Constable, finding the drugged Timothy passed out on his weekend home bed, hits him over the head with a bedside lamp. He then spends a significant portion of the novel trying to avoid public exposure by disposing of Timothy's almost lifeless body...
...life. The third part is based on Jennens' contribution, Il Moderato, a moralizing tirade praising "Moderation, grace divine," to the detriment of "headlong Passion"--whom we assume can be only the joyful, spirited L'Allegro character. Il Penseroso, meanwhile, is characterized by Jennens as "deeply sad...like lifeless statues seeming/ Ever musing, moping, dreaming...
...kidnapping, though, the action slows almost to a halt; the rest of the movie moves sluggishly, with brief speedy sections. The aggravation of this halting progress is compounded by the fact that during the lulls, rather than actually develop his characters, Boyle chooses instead to meander around the lifeless world that he has created...
...temptation of Hollywood's computer-graphics revolution, which is giving movies a glossy hyperreality unseen since the heyday of the studio system while distracting us from their essential soullessness. And if the computer's single greatest achievement to date has been the astonishingly life-like dinosaurs of the astonishingly lifeless Jurassic Park and The Lost World, creating digital humans of similar believability remains the industry's Holy Grail...