Word: likelies
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...truly shallow and pathetic person. The proof? Ask me to name the most important moment in my life this past year, and I answer without hesitation: getting high-speed access to the Internet at home. It happened two weeks ago, and I'm still faint with excitement. I feel like getting bumper stickers printed up: ASK ME ABOUT MY CABLE MODEM! For months, years even, I've been stalking my local phone and cable monopolies, only to be told that broadband access to the Net wasn't yet available on my block. The phone company's offering, known...
...suddenly life will never be the same. It was like the first time I received an e-mail. Trust me on this: once you get high-speed access to the Net and it's at your disposal all the time, you'll understand what all the hoopla is about. It's faster than my connection at work. My two phone lines, which were always tied up with modem traffic, are now always free. My daughters can connect to AOL without ever hearing a busy signal. And my wife can buy things on eBay fast, without having to wait through endless...
...which allowed me to link my two machines and modem via telephone wire. Note: you'll need to open up each PC and drop in a PCI card, which used to make me nervous back when I wasn't so shallow and pathetic. Now I enjoy doing stuff like that. It makes me feel manly...
Recently, during one of our regular Sunday dinners, my mother complained of some aches and pains. She asked me my opinion, and like any good doctor, I replied, "When did you have your last complete physical and blood tests?" The time it took for her to remember was answer enough. Not only had it been too long, but she hadn't been given basic blood tests that most women should have on a periodic basis. So when the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists revised its screening recommendations for women two weeks ago, I immediately sent a copy...
...LONESOME WEST Martin McDonagh continues to astonish. The young London playwright's comedy drama about two brothers fighting over their father's money--the third of a trilogy that includes last season's The Beauty Queen of Leenane--plays at first like a Two Stooges farce. But the laughs thinly disguise a chilling picture of human nature at its nastiest and a rebuke to the romance of rural Ireland...