Word: listener
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News flash, freshmen! Your Peer Advising Fellows don’t really want to hang out with you-they’re getting paid a sweet grand to listen to you whine. Here’s what they’d say if they could talk without blowing the cash. 1) “Don’t join any extracurriculars; when you feel lonely, just start drinking.” 2) “You have to lose your virginity before you register for classes; here, let me help you with that...
It’s Monday evening at 7 p.m. and I’m writing this because my plans have been cancelled. I was supposed to listen to Karl, from the hedge fund Amaranth, who was to tell me “everything I always wanted to know about hedge funds but was afraid to ask.” Unfortunately, Karl had to cancel. You see, Karl had a bad day. Earlier today, Karl’s company sent its investors a little note informing them that Amaranth had “experienced significant losses following a dramatic move...
...reason at all. But listen, Edward Champion, if that is your real name (and if you're the Champion, what does that make me?): Now that we're all superheroes, all I ask is that you use your powers for good. Let's take each other seriously and respond in good faith. Let's not bandy words around thoughtlessly or maliciously--there's enough of that going on already, what with Uwe Boll and MoFlo4Sho out there. After all, at the end of the day, we're not so different...
...lack of departmental structure. Seemingly half the course catalog is up for grabs. Advisors are a little too eager to make you choose your own path, so you may be tempted to just throw darts at the Courses of Instruction rather than narrow it down yourself. Instead, listen to Confi and start with Ryan’s cross-listed class, Comparative Literature 161, “Modernist Movements.” In typical Lit fashion, it serves up an otherwise tired topic with interdisciplinary, multilingual style. Along with the standard Eliot and Pound, students read in several languages, listen...
...panels (the hidden jewels of Psych 1603) spice up lecture, despite the fact that they discuss merry subjects such as delinquency and self-injury. There’s nothing like a presentation on bulimia to brighten your day, eh? Assignments are minimal and include keeping a short journal (tip: listen to Britney Spears' super-hit Dear Diary for inspiration). The biggest perk of the two required papers is that students have enormous freedom: you can analyze Napoleon Dynamite, a teen self-help book, or even your experience observing resumé-padding high school kids working at a soup kitchen...