Word: loafed
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...Idaho and Wyoming; they became states that same summer. Benjamin Harrison was President. It was an auspicious year for births: she arrived in the company of Agatha Christie, and Groucho Marx, and Dwight Eisenhower. Pork chops cost 10 cents a pound, bread was a nickel a loaf, milk 6 cents a quart. The next year, basketball was invented...
...carried mosquito spray and those bug zappers that you plug into a power outlet, hoping it will kill all the mosquitoes in the room. Having been massacred by mosquitoes the night before despite smearing myself with repellent, I piled half a dozen zappers onto the counter, along with a loaf of bread, some cheese and crackers and some bottles of water. The woman at the register proceeded to wipe the dust off each item in turn before ringing...
...Celine Dion hit “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.” Written by Steinman in 1983, the song was shelved in favor of “I Would Do Anything for Love” until Dion made it her own. Meat Loaf adds absolutely nothing to a song we should never have to hear again anyway...
Finally, buried 12 songs into the album, the real Meat Loaf of my childhood reappears. “Seize the Night” features the beautiful choir orchestration, strings, and the kind of spot-on vocals that used to make cleaning my room that much more enjoyable. Sadly, it all ends very quickly, and listeners are left with two more dull tracks...
Listen, Meat Loaf: if you’re going to get our hopes up by releasing a sequel to two of the most perfectly awful albums of all time, you better deliver. Otherwise, go back to hell...