Word: lockerful
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...Harvard affiliate decided to focus on an oft-overlooked muscle group and to give his wrist some, ahem, vigorous exercise last month at the Malkin Athletic Center (MAC). Rather than pump iron, this man decided to pump something else—in the men’s locker room. Yes, ndorphins weren’t the only thing released during one post-workout shower...
...March 24, the Harvard University Police Department (HUPD) investigated a report of possible masturbation, according to the police log. HUPD was called after a man was seen masturbating by another patron in the open shower of the men’s locker room, says a member of the MAC staff. Unfortunately, this self-loving bandit managed to escape before he could be apprehended. Following fruitless investigation, the case was recently closed...
...masturbator remains loose, our showers remain unsafe. Staff members say that they received an e-mail instructing them to be on the lookout for suspicious locker room behavior. But because putting video cameras in the locker rooms would be both sketchy and really, really unconstitutional, no other measures can be taken to protect our showers. MAC lovers beware—don your shower shoes, because the tiled floors may be “slippery when wet” for more than one reason...
...officer was sent to the Malkin Athletic Center (MAC) to investigate the theft of a debit card and driver’s license. The stolen items had been removed from a wallet left unsecured and unattended in a locker...
With devastating natural talent and a knack for leadership—“It helps when you have a guy that vocal in the locker room,” junior Josh Klimkiewicz says, “[who] also puts up those kinds of numbers”—Mann has already made a difference...