Word: lost
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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Places I’ve lost an umbrella: the T, the trunk of someone else’s car, A-entryway of Winthrop House, H-entryway of Winthrop House, the dining hall of Winthrop House, an airplane. I would estimate my total losses of umbrellas in the last 10 years to be roughly 15. God only knows how many I lost as a baby. Some of them were really special, too—one that I’d had since eighth grade, and fondly called “Ducky,” featured a duck’s head...
Where all of my former umbrellas are, I have no idea. They have entered into the nebulous vortex of lost umbrellas—probably someone in the Financial District is enjoying one right now. But I’m not bitter. That’s because I take other people’s umbrellas...
...haven’t forgotten, having merely laid them aside. I don’t make George’s mistake in “Seinfeld” of thinking that the umbrellas in the metal cans at coffee shops are free. I only take umbrellas that are indubitably lost, like the one I took last week from my section room, which had been forlornly flung into a corner for some time. Since I have contributed so many umbrellas to the great Karmic Circle of Lost Precipitation Inhibitors, I feel that I can justifiably take others that I find. It?...
...useful to everyone, but, unlike their size-specific cousin, the raincoat, they are not individualized. There are no “left-handed” umbrellas or “gluten-free” umbrellas. They are the everyman of protection from the elements. Consider the case of a lost pencil. You are rummaging in your bag to surreptitiously text someone, but then your eyes dart to an abandoned light-green pencil right under your seat. Of course you take it. Who is going to frantically come running into the classroom bawling over a lost pencil? Umbrellas and pencils both...
...walking in the Yard on a rainy 45-degree day, which would mean anytime in March, under what seems to look suspiciously like that umbrella you lost in the Science Center, don’t worry. It probably is. But never fear, I have a feeling you’ll find another one if you just keep an eye out in Lamont Caf?...